Closing a Chapter

I decided that I need to close this chapter of my life known as my "slutty phase". I never meant for this blog to be about my sex-capades. I simply thought I would write about my dating experiences in NY. Alas, I started this blog about the same time that I entered this so called, slutty phase. I recently realized, although I am having so much fun, I am bringing into my life, men who want only one thing, and have no desire what-so-ever to get to know me in any way.

You have to understand I am not a casual sex kind of person. I am a good girl. I have always been a relationship person. Like I said, I am having a lot of fun but I keep meeting men who are basically shit. I realized I have brought them into my life because the energy that I am putting out in the universe is coming back to me. And I don't want it.

I am going to focus my attentions on loving me and finding a new, better job. I feel like my lesson here is that I have to set boundaries and I have to respect myself more. Boy am I going to miss the sex!

Update:

I told Mr. Sensual, J.D., that his picture and comments were inappropriate. He is sending many texts and emails apologizing. Next.

Charming Guy (also known as Three-Night-Stand Guy) is also texting me. "What happened to my horny friend?" I have not decided what to say back yet. Something like, "She decided to give up sex and only spend time with friends who know her last name."

When it rains it pours! Too bad none of them are quality men. Only in NY, kids. Only in NY.

What is Wrong with Men?!

Mr. Sensual, let's call him JD, and I met on Match.com last Saturday. He read something in my profile about how I enjoy the scent of a good smelling man and he latched onto it. Turns out he also enjoys the scent of a good smelling woman. We talked on the phone and JD seemed cool, a little ADHD, but cool. I mean it was refreshing, I am not used to being the quiet one during a conversation. So JD goes on to tell me that he is good looking and has no problem meeting women. Did I mention he is modest too? After JD is done bragging about his independent movie he made- wrote, directed, starred and cast (which is actually pretty cool) he goes on to explain to me that he is a sensual guy, not sexual, and "there is a difference".

JD and I converse and text a couple more times. He keeps asking me for a full-body shot and he thinks it is weird that I don't have one posted on my profile. About this time I am thinking, can't this guy just wait to meet me? I told him I live a fit lifestyle and I am not fat. I am also thinking I don't have a full-body shot on my profile to avoids dudes like you! After some convincing, I send Mr. Sensual a picture of me in a bikini from Puerto Rico. To my shocking surprise Mr. Sensual sends me back a picture of his bare bottom in a lovely sepia tone. The picture is very nice (he has a toned backside!) but I am saying to him, "Do you send all your friends pics like this? And you are wondering why so many women on Match are dropping their panties for you? It is not a mystery to me!"

Wow, this internet dating thing is rough! I learned a valuable lesson with this one. Never send a bikini photo of yourself to a stranger over the internet (soon to be added to Love Lunatic's Rules for Dating coming soon). I know this may seem like a "Duh" moment to some of you, but I thought it was harmless. But now I am feeling at a loss that some perv who I will probably never meet has a picture of me, in a bikini, out there in cyberspace. Gross.

To Have, or Not to Have, Casual Sex

Against my better judgement I hung out with Charming One Night Stand Guy yesterday. He is just so darn cute! However, It has become very clear to me that he only wants to fuck. I am unsure which moment this became so crystal clear to me. Maybe it was the moment after sex, we were laying in bed, staring into each others eyes and talking about our jobs. Then I say, "You still don't even know my last name". Charming One Night Stand says, "It doesn't matter".

Oh my God, I laughed so hard! I have been with this guy 3 times now and he has no desire to get to know me in anyway. It just doesn't feel right. This isn't me. Having casual sex just isn't me. I know if I see him again I will start to like him. The thing is, why do I like a man who doesn't call and has no desire to get to know me? Maybe I am crazy?!

So that is it. I am done. I am ridding my life of bad men.

Charming but a douche

Last Saturday a friend and I watched the UFC fight at a hip Upper East Side sports bar. To my happy surprise I was one of the few women in the bar. Ladies, you want to meet men? Get into Ultimate Fighting!

First of all, let me just say, this never happens to me. I never meet guys. I have been living in NYC for 5 years and have never had a one night stand. So I am at this bar alone, waiting for my friend to arrive when low and behold, standing next to me was an adorable man. He was charming, handsome and flirting with me! After lots of close talking and flirtatious touching he left me, and I wondered if I would ever hear from him again. Meanwhile my friend and I watched the fight and made some new friends. Charming guy started texting me and comes to meet us out. The funny part of this story is that charming guy thinks he needs to get me drunk to go home with him. I had already made my decision but I enjoyed the attention and the free drinks.

I am sure you just want me to get to the good stuff... Charming guy and I go back to his place. Surprise! We rip our clothes off and fall on his bed (he lives in a studio apartment where the major piece of furniture is a bed so there is no making out on the couch) Charming guy is generous and well endowed. He gets extra points for keeping his junk trimmed; but, he did try to fuck me like a jack rabbit. All in all the sex okay. I was in pain for 4 days afterward and no orgasm is worth that! To be honest he keeps texting me but I am not sure I want to go there again. PS. he tried to take the condom off so I am thinking this guy may be a bit of a douche.

Big Date Update

So my date with Mr. Lawyer Man was basically a dud. I had to drink myself into a wine coma to get through it. He was older than his picture and had glasses as thick as Coke bottles. Moral of the story, don't go out with anyone who only has one picture posted on their internet dating profile.

On the bright side I met a sexy man out the next night. More to come on that later...

Big Date

Tonight is my big date with Mr. Lawyer Man. It will be our first meeting after many anonymous emails through Match.com. As the big date approaches I am starting to get nervous. Mr. Lawyer Man only has one picture on his profile (albeit not a very good one), which I think is odd. Most people who date on the internet have multiple pictures posted on their profile so you can get a somewhat true picture of what they look like. What if Mr. Lawyer Man only has one photo because it is 10 years old and doesn't look like him at all because he is older and fatter? I decided to pursue this man because I always go for the cute guys online only to be disappointed by their looks in person. So I decided to go for the nerdy guy in hopes that he is cuter in person. Stay tuned for details...

Some Good Reads

Here is a list of books I read in the last year. Does this make me crazy or highly qualified to talk about love and give advice about relationships?

Closing the Deal

Deal Breakers

The Five Love Languages

Don't get Lucky Get Smart -Why you Love Life Sucks and What You Can Do About It

Why Hasn't He Called?

Don't Call That Man

(In my defense I did not purchase all these books. One was borrowed and one was given as a gift from my mom)

Soon to be added to the list, Why Men Love Bitches. I think that is all I am missing. Then maybe the universe will bring me a good man and I will be well prepared for a normal relationship sans the games and bullshit and live happily ever after. Or get committed.

Match.com

Seriously? Is this what it has come to? Internet dating.

What is a single girl to do? So many choices: Eharmony, Match, Perfect Match, OkCupid- I could go on and on. Well, I chose Match.com for all my love needs. I got so excited about all the cute guys to chose from. I signed up on the spot and paid my fee. Alas, all the men I would like to date live in Colorado, 2000 something miles from NYC!

They say Manhattan is home to 8 million people. You figure about 4 million are men. But half of that number are married. So that leaves 2 million men, right? Really less though. It is stated in the 2008 census that women outnumber men 100 to 86. SUPER. Now subtract all our fabulous gay friends.

I guess it isn't so surprising then that I am having trouble meeting someone faithful, ambitious, funny, smart and handsome? Maybe I am asking for too much? Match.com thinks so. I searched for men between the ages of 35 and 45, five feet eight inches to six feet four inches tall, who want children "definitely". My matches came back "zero".

Really?!

Date Night

Welcome to my blog! This is my first post; I decided to start a blog to record all my ranting and ravings as a lunatic, single gal in New York City searching for love. Trying to stay sane in a city where everyone (particularly men) are searching for the next best thing. How does an intelligent, beautiful, 30 something find love in the City that never sleeps?

Monday Night is date night and instead of being excited about the possibility of spending time with the love of my life I find myself having anxiety over whether or not to sex with this guy (Let's call him MM for Mad Man- he works in Advertising). Some background info: MM and I went to college together and have recently had sex. So how do I render null and void the panty invitation?